What Are The Odds?

What are the odds that both of the administrators of susan-boyle.com claim they are being hunted by assassins? Both Pickled Tink and Kalua say that they live in mortal fear that their locations will be discovered by their enemies and they will be killed. I kid you not.  

Kalua claims that the ghost of Pinochet has had him on a hit list of political targets since the day he was born. He has told some people that if his face is ever seen in public, he will be instantly terminated. That's probably why he thought it was safe to email his photo around to all and sundry. Pinochet's dead so he obviously can't use the Internets.  

Pickled Tink apparently works for MI6 and has roving gangs of assassins after her. Naturally she cannot be seen in public lest she be hunted down. One supposes that is why she spends so much time hanging around an international superstar, having her photo taken and appearing in videos. What better way to keep you mug out of sight than to schmooze with one of the most famous women on the planet?

See if you can spot the pickle in this video. Hint: 3:13, 3:20, 4:01, plus preview still (red hair, purple hat).

With these two dangerous characters running her largest fan site, is Miss Boyle safe? What if the ninjas find Pickle on one of the many well-publicized occasions when she's at Susan's house? Could Pinochet's ghostly legions target Susan to flush Kalua out of Switzerland – er, hiding? Might “Our Susan” be caught in the crossfire? Maybe the administrators from susan-boyle.com ought to stay away from Susan or at least give the Scottish Songbird a flak jacket when they're near her.

If sweet, wonderful Susan Boyle's fan club is run by such scary characters, the peeps who run Lady Gaga's fan club must be positively horrific.

Seriously, you can't make this shit up.